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Sunday, April 30th, 2006
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2:08 pm - Yup
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Find your own pose!
Fireman's Carry is the pose of two people who are fully committed. They may feel reluctant to commit to anything else in their lives (Fireman's Carry couples tend to rent versus own, and respond to every invitation with a "maybe"), but their dedication to each other is unshakeable. Fireman's Carriers often arrive at this level of committment rather suddenly; after a lifetime of keep-away, they encounter their person in some unexpected location (the DMV), and their reluctance to get involved evaporates with a suddenness that surprises everyone they know.
That wouldn't be bad.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 9th, 2006
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7:53 am
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| Monday, March 27th, 2006
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1:32 am - Interesting.....
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The following excerpt is from a conversation I just had with a girl who I once had a pretty good connection with and almost dated. However, she decided it would be a bad idea considering the distance (which, granted, was an hour and 45 minutes drive but still) between BG and her college and that she wanted a break from boys. I fairly instantaneously figured that such a statement was a bullshit excuse and that in reality, seeing as we had only hung out together rarely until that point when we saw each other more often, one of the following things happened: 1. She realized that I was plain and simple not attractive enough or 2. I was just too boring to bother with such an effort. This was further enforced when something like 2 weeks later she was telling me about how she was upset that some guy she liked wasn't going to date her. So much for her break. I actually brought my theories up with her once and she said that no, it was just the distance. Ironically however, about a month and a half later (now) here she is dating one of my friends who goes to Western. Distance much? This is what I see as evidence supporting my original thoughts, and for her sake I'll edit her screen name:
I'm putting the important details in caps.
PsycopathicSeth: what are you up to?
PsycopathicSeth: how was the weekend?
********: it was real good
********: a friend up at state got me two handles of popov because a bunch of people were goin home this weekend, so i *DROVE TO KALAMAZOO, PICKED UP EVAN, DROVE ALL THE WAY BACK HOME*, picked up angie, picked up arthur, went to dinner, went to evan's, a shit load of people showed up, most of us got drunk and had a shit load of fun, eventually everyone passed out
PsycopathicSeth: good deal
********: woke up around 10, ali, scott, evan, arthur, angie and i went to breakfast, dropped everyone off wherever they needed to be, went shopping with my sister, met up with a friend, evan called and said to go to eric's dad's new house which was amazing, we all stayed there for a long time until arthur called, so we went to arthur's house, i was real tired, and had prolly 3-4 shots mixed with cranberry and nobody else would drink so i just passed out and eventually everyone else did too
PsycopathicSeth: yeah eric's dad's house is really nice
*********: woke up around 11, arthur, evan and i went to breakfast, went back to arthur's watched a bunch of tv, drove arthur back to u of m in record time, went back home, drove evan to scott's place, and my parents drove me back to msu
PsycopathicSeth: you drive a lot
PsycopathicSeth: *ISN'T KALAMAZOO LIKE AN HOUR AND A HALF FROM LANSING*?
*********: *YEAH*
PsycopathicSeth: thats crazy
PsycopathicSeth: AND you drove from home to ann arbor and back
*********: *YEAH, I DON'T REALLY MIND DRIVING*
*********: but driving back from kzoo to westbloomfield is a bitch
PsycopathicSeth: I can imagine
*********: cuz you have to take 94 for 100 miles
PsycopathicSeth: yeah
*********: since feb 26 i have seen arthur, evan, eric and perry every weekend, but i don't think that's gonna happen this coming weekend
*********: i may go through withdrawl
PsycopathicSeth: haha
*********: and end up sitting with my roommate and my neighbor in my room, drinking and being depressed
Now, she's still a friend of mine and I'm not trying to make her look like a bad person or anything like that at all. I just figure if you're going to reject a guy, at least be honest about it. I might learn something.
current mood:  amused
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, March 14th, 2006
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2:56 am - ...but I think I'm doing pretty well in school
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| Monday, March 6th, 2006
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5:28 am - Good times
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I remember:
Age 3-5, watching a lot of Nickolodean with my sister, disney movies, ninja turtles, hanging out with James. I got my first crush on some girl. The beach behind my house, my dog being a puppy.
Age 6, moving to Saudi Arabia, I met Matt somewhere in there and we played a lot of Super Nintendo and jumped on his trampoline.
Someday in first or 2nd grade they brought the fire department who made a bunch of foam outside and everyone got to play in it. It was the closest thing to snow you could get in the Middle East.
Sometimes my sister, my mom, and I would hang out in the living room and me and Maris would just run around and play with the dog. We played a lot of War too.
In 2nd grade Matt moved up to Dhahran and I would sometimes take the bus up there on the weekends and we'd play with Zbots, make movies, run around town and just generally be kids. It was a gang of us: Brad, Steve, Guini, Madi, Morgan, Payton, Matt and I. This went on until I moved there in 5th grade.
A few times I went up there with my mother when she had softball tournaments, and I'd run around with Ryan and Casaan Phelps. There were these big cement ditches that we'd ride our bikes in.
We had these bike "trails" that we made up that consisted of riding really cool paths through neighborhoods and alleys and a little bit of desert and people's backyards. I still remember the way we used to go.
Matt's mom would make these big elaborate halloween parties, and she'd make the big yarn mazes (nobody will understand this but I'll remember it if I read this). We'd ride around on the golf cart and go trick or treating. In school, they'd have a big assembly where everyone would sing halloween songs and all of us kids would parade around in our costumes.
Dylan had a 3D0. The first time I ever went to his house we played Road Rash on that, and it was sweet. Also, we'd play a bunch of Warcraft 2 at matt's house, which led to diablo later, starcraft, command and conquer. Many hours spent playing video games.
the knight game.
in 6th grade I was part of the play "Oliver". Aaron Bartee and I would just fuck around backstage in the green room most of the time because we didn't have important roles (even though they wanted me to audition for the part of Oliver). We hung out with Mary a lot too, and I had a big crush on her.
I smoked my first cigarette with dylan, doug, and andrew behind the boy scout house. we all felt like we were being really rebellious and could take on the world.
Bryan and I would get food from Schlotzkey's and watch movies and swim around in his pool. He had a hot tub that used to shock people if you tried to turn on the jets.
A lot of girls had a lot of partys, and pretty much our entire grade would go. I particularly remember Aurora's because it was a lot of fun for some reason. I think I took some ritalin or something beforehand. Oh, and people would actually go to the school dances. I remember feeling like hot shit because I danced with Erin Lunsford, and everyone liked her.
On the weekends, everyone would go to 3rd street and various shenanigans would occur. There was always something going on, and it was always a good time. We did a lot of drugs. That's where everyone would go to get messed up.
We bladed a lot at the skate park. I learned most of the grinds in a matter of weeks, but I was never very good. We tried a lot though.
We rode around in the big grassy fields behind Matt's house on the golf cart a lot. Matt Hart fell off once when he was wearing a pillowcase over his head that looked like a KKK hood, and it was fucking hilarious.
I won my first kiss as a reward for beating Rachel at pool. She smoked a lot and it tasted like ciggarettes, but it was exciting and felt good. I was shaking like a crack addict.
We had beach day in 9th grade right before our "graduation" (before everyone had to go off to boarding school and leave Saudi Arabia). It was pretty much the last time everyone got to just goof around at the beach before we all got split up. Looking back on it, our grade was pretty small and it was a pretty tight knit group of people. Everyone knew everyone, at least. Matt Hart spent most of the day taking pictures of all the girls in their bikinis. He swore he caught a picture of Courtney's nipple falling out, but it just looked like a freckle to me.
We used to get high in Dana's backyard a lot, and then we'd listen to music or go out to 3rd street or the hills and meet up with people.
I would eat lunch at Doug's a lot. We'd go to his house and make pizzas and then catch the bus back to school.
In 10th grade I was at cranbrook and it was mostly bad, but I skated a lot with tyler, noah, eben, and terry. There was a new little gang, ryan, evan, amadeus, eric, renee, jackie, justine, michelle, etc. that I spent most of my time with. Renee once told me she would've dated me if it wasn't for Ryan. I once had a dream about her.
Jesse and I would go to birmingham every week, and eventually we pretty much knew everyone there. for some reason, people thought we were drug dealers. We'd go and smoke cigarettes in the alley behind Caribou Coffee. One night, we ran into a cute blonde girl wearing bunny ears and her friend. That was Lyndsey and Brittany. Brittany was my first real girlfriend. The day after we met we went to a movie and made out in the front row. We dated for 2 months until she cheated on me with Jesse in the woods. Jesse and I used to wander around in the woods and smoke cigarettes and talk and get away from the campus. I gave him a lot of shit, but he was probably one of my few close friends.
that summer I went to visit Matt in texas. I met Moff and Chuck and a few other people. We went to go see Hemlock at the Mac Stack, and nothing remains at this local venue that everyone used to go to. I met Jamie and stephanie rougier there. While nothing remains was playing I sat outside and talked to Jamie, and Matt and Moff were pissed that I missed them, but in the long run it was worth it. There was a claw machine at the mall in Wichita Falls that actually worked, and me and moff won a whole bunch of stupid bullshit. Me, Chuck, and matt went out to see this show with these 3 girls, I think their names were Savannah, Lacey, and Heather or courtney or something (she didn't talk much). Chuck had his eye on one of them and years later they ended up getting together. Matt and I went to disney land in california for a week. We met a couple of girls from Utah who went on a bunch of rides with us. We went on the white water raft one a few times, and it got cold. The cute one got pretty cuddly with me. We were supposed to meet them there the next day but Matt's dad didn't want to go to the park that day and we never met up with them.
when I was in saudi that summer we spent a lot of time in the Jebels at night and going to the beach in Ras Tanura. We'd go over to Celeste and Kris's house a lot too, and play drinking games in the back yard. I made up a lot of really ridiculous songs, but everyone thought they were pretty funny, so it was amusing for a while.
I started hanging out a lot more with Tyler Quinn when I got back to school. We made a skate video called Epilogue that I never got to see the finished version of because I left. I met Jeff sometime that year and we'd go to his house on the weekends and be free from campus while they would practice for their band Mobility. They were a pretty damn good band, and Jeff was a goofy guy.
I left cranbrook and came back to saudi. I met stephanie and liz one night after I left a party that turned out to be hosted by a 42 year old gay man who was kind of creepy. Steph and Liz somehow ended up both liking me, but I chose steph because I already was interested in her.
We would hang out a lot with Jesse and Liz and Hani, and sometimes sterling and others would come too. Jesse and I invented "Dare or Dare". Steph used to come over without any warning and I'd just be hanging out on my back porch with jesse and hani, and she'd surprise me and come jump into my lap. She always had a big smile on her face, and I was always happy to see her. Once, when I was sick, she left school at lunch and came over and climbed in bed with me and kept me company. I was asleep and I felt someone getting into my bed and I turned over and there she was. It was just about the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.
She left to go on vacation once for a month and we were hanging out the day before she left. Eventually I had to take her home so we got my mom's car and I took her to the little area near her house. We held each other for 20 minutes, and then she tried to go because she had to, but she got back in the car because she didn't want to leave. Later she tried to go again but this time I wouldn't let her. It was an hour before she actually went home. Once, she told me she needed me.
I lived with Matt to finish highschool in Iowa Park, Texas. He and his girlfriend Liz and I would hang out a lot. He worked at Sonic and I actually had a job there for about 3 weeks, but then I quit because I didn't like it. He'd come home from work and we'd play Xbox for a bit until we had to sleep. I'd hang out with Zane or Wes or Moff or Nate or Chuck or Nic or Mike D when matt was at work. I dated a girl named Shannon Rogers for about a week because she was interested in me. We broke up because I was still in love with Stephanie, and soon after that me and Steph started talking a lot again anyways. In hindsight, it might have been better if I had given it a better try because she was pretty and really smart, and she was alright to hang out with. I wonder what she's up to these days. Probably something successful.
Once Wes and Matt told me we were going to go to Six Flags, so we drove down to Dallas one afternoon. I had never been there so I didn't know where the place actually was. I started getting pretty suspicious when we were in the actual city and it was starting to get dark. As it turned out, we were on our way to an MSI show, which was quite a pleasant surprise for me. I don't like them quite so much anymore, but they sure put on a hell of a show.
I'd play poker over at Jay Coleman's house. They taught me about Texas Hold-Em, and they were all really good. On my first hand ever I got a straight-flush. Most of the time they beat me, but I got in 2nd place once and ended up making 20 bucks. I think it was Nic that beat me. He and I used to go play disc golf over in Lucy Park in Wichita Falls. Him and Doug were really good, I pretty much blew. But it was fun.
Doug took us out to our first strip club for Matt's birthday. Doug was a veteran of sorts so he showed us all the ropes. He stopped me from spending 60 bucks, in singles, in an hour. Instead, I spent 60 bucks, in singles, in about 4. The first stripper looked a lot like Tamara. I told her that at school the next day.
I lived in Michigan with Jesse after I graduated. The day he showed up, which was also the 4th of July, we ran into Dana in birmingham. We had actually met Dana a couple years before when we both went to cranbrook, so it was a hell of a coincidence. We bought fireworks and set them off in the middle of some street. We wanted to go to the top of the parking structure, but we figured the cops would give us shit. He ended up dating her for a while.
Once when I was working at 7/11, Jesse, Dana, and Andrea randomly showed up to say hi. It was unexpected and nice of them, because I was bored out of my mind. I think we went out and did something after I got off.
Jesse and I had a lot of adventures. We met Danielle one night (he met her online I think) and we ended up both liking her. We drove down to Colombus, Ohio and picked up Preston for the weekend. Once, we went back to cranbrook to visit during the school day and within 5 minutes of being there everybody knew we were there. The lady in the girl's dorm office actually thought Jesse wasn't allowed on campus and tried to make him leave. This was ridiculous because we had just finished talking to one of the Deans, Mr.Winter.
There were a lot of parties at my house. Justine video taped a lot of them. Once, a girl I had met the day or so before showed up with Will and Dan Valbracht. Her name was Jess Kopitz, and I thought she was pretty cute. I think we hit it off somehow, she has the kind of personality where its very easy to do so. A couple days later I met up with her and we went out and got some coffee and talked. We ended up making out in the grass of one of the fields at cranbrook. I actually had to leave for summer break to Saudi Arabia that day.
Jeff and I got pretty high one night and ended up writing a song that sounded like a mixture of Ghosts and mario. We thought it was absolutely hilarious and were laughing about it for probably 2 hours. As it turns out, we wrote a lot more songs than that, and they got more serious. We played our first show as a full band, along with Tyler and Jen, with Chiodos and the Fall of Troy, which I hear is a notable feat. There were about 150 people there and it was very scary. I think we played pretty terribly, but I've heard even now people refer to that show and say that they were pretty impressed.
The reason I'm writing this all is for the pleasure of reliving some of these events, but also to make sure I have a place to go to remind me of them. Lately, I've felt like I haven't had any particularly good moments in a long while, but in doing this I found that there were periods where I've felt that way before, which were shortly followed by some of my favorite times.
Note: My apologies if I listed or referred to any events that people would've preferred not repeated.
current mood:  contemplative
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(14 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, December 31st, 2005
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3:18 pm - 2005
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| Sunday, December 4th, 2005
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1:09 am - It's funny, kind of, in a cynical way
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I was talking to Steph briefly today and I got to thinking. Relationships are silly things, if you look at them in a certain light. A year, maybe more, ago we were very intimate, often times we'd talk for hours (much to the chagrine of roommates that would want to play videogames with me), and we said we loved each other all the time. I still talk to her now, and now I can't talk about certain things because she's in a relationship, and rules are rules. I mean, we broke up so I'm not saying it should be exactly like it was, but we did break up on good terms and you'd think that two people who know each other so well would retain a certain level of intimacy. We still share the odd meaningful conversation from time to time, but far too often it's just small talk. I just think it's funny, how soon we forget. I'm probably just being pathetic and should get over it, or I'm reading too much into it, but I don't know. I don't know anything these days.
current mood: contemplative
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, December 2nd, 2005
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3:57 pm - kind, generous people
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it's that time of year again. Things that I would one day like to have:
a nice jangly Telecaster, w/ whammy bar
a Strat (granted, they're pretty generic but I like them)
a fucking Gibson for chrissake (but that'll never happen)
and if we're going down that road, seeing as I have the most cock-rock guitar ever, a flying v would be pretty funny.
a holier grail reverb pedal.
a parametric eq pedal.
a better tuner.
my amp is pretty good, but a twin would be better.
Musical stuff is expensive. And there, I've gotten my yearly consumerism out of the way.
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, November 28th, 2005
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6:41 am - Ah the holidays
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I re-read my journals again and that always leaves me feeling strange and kind of sad and kind of confused as to how I got here. I should stop doing that.
Thanksgiving wasn't particularly enjoyable this year. I spent it at my uncle's house, which I always try to avoid as I'm always left feeling uncomfortable. This time was no exception, as it pretty much consisted of two of my cousins randomly making fun of me for things I did when I was 10, or 4, or 8, or 5 years old (this happens every time) and then the other cousin making some sort of snide comment regarding the fact that I don't shave enough or need to get a haircut or a job. The only people I had any sort of real conversation with were two husbands of said cousins, normal people who got stuck being married into that fucked up half of my family. It's just irritating how obvious it is that they don't give a shit if I'm there or not, and I obviously don't want to be there, but my uncle makes it more or less a requirement. So eventually he and I got talking about the band and he wanted to hear the cd so I went and got it, knowing it was probably a bad idea. As expected, he put it on and nobody payed any attention. They just went on with their conversations or oogled at yet another baby (how sad is that, I don't even know the names of my cousin's children because nobody even told me they were born. and I don't really care). I stood there in a corner for a half hour wanting to yell at them to give me the courtesy of at least pretending interested I mean for fuck's sake all they ever do is talk about how stupid or annoying or gullible I was when I was 5 years old but that was 15 fucking years ago and THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM! but instead I just stood there feeling shitty and humiliated because I don't have the balls to tell them off.
Once, I came close to telling my uncle how I felt about the whole thing. Actually, I did tell him, but he didn't understand it or didn't care. He had called me up saying that I should go to one of my cousin's kid's birthday party, and I responded by saying "Well, I've got a lot I need to do today and I don't really think he'd even notice if I was there or not". He said "Oh, no, he told me he wants you to come" (which I suspected, even then, was a blatant lie, seeing as I hadn't spoken more than 2 sentences to that kid in years) and I said, with all possible sarcasm "Well, if he really wants me there.....". And I ended up going. Sure enough, the kid spoke maybe two words to me the entire time, and those were "hello" when I arrived and "ok, bye" when I said I was leaving. So that was pretty much all the proof I needed.
One of these days I'm just going to say "Look. (Birthday Person's Name) doesn't give a damn if I'm there, the others will just make fun of some decade old event and then proceed to ignore me, and I'll leave feeling like shit so just do me a favor and stop trying."
current mood:  tired
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(12 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, November 21st, 2005
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12:59 pm - Check it out
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http://www.bgnews.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2005/11/18/437d5db1bf769
we're in the news. If the link doesn't work for some reason (it didn't work for me), go to www.bgnews.com and look in the pulse section. Gotta do it before next friday though I think.
or just read this.
When Mammoths Melting Out Of The Ice!?! formed out of Jeff T. Smith’s basement in Michigan last year, the band consisted of Smith, Guy Justusson and more instruments than anyone could count. Now, with the addition of Jenna Isherwood (viola, bass) and Tyler Jones (drums), MMOOTI!?! have made their way into Bowling Green. The band’s current home has provided them with boredom, inspiration and a new song, “Ohio Sucks or Welcome to Bowling Green, Ohio, Home of the National Tractor Pulling Championships.”
It’s that same small-town atmosphere, though, that provided an artistic palette for the band to draw up their new album, Meow Hit Lot Dood. “I think an influence can be anything that you’ve ever listened to that, even if you’re kind of ashamed to admit it now, it’s still there,” Justusson said. “I think our biggest influence is living in Bowling Green, Ohio, where there’s really nothing much else to do,” Isherwood added. “There’s not a big music scene that pushes you into listening to these fashionable bands at the moment.”
Though the band members don’t describe themselves as fashionable, their music is different enough to cause a trend in the local music scene. Performing with anywhere from 17-20 instruments — including bells, a piano and toys — the band seems to be catching the eyes and ears of those around them with more melodies and less lyrics.
Smith (bass, guitar) said he and Justusson have a tendency to write the same song, even when they are apart. “A lot of times, Guy will write something, like a guitar part, and I will write a bass line on our own times at our houses and then miraculously, it will be the same song,” he said. “Then we’ll play songs over and over until they get some kind of continuity to them.”
Collectively, the band shares their love of performing. At times, they said, it can be hard to understand the crowd’s reaction to their music. “Sometimes there will be people staring off and we won’t be sure if they like it or not, but every now and then, you’ll see somebody who’s really into it and that’s pretty cool,” Justusson said. “People have described our music as completely incomprehensible,” Isherwood added.
Also somewhat incomprehensible is the band’s name. Isherwood said the band members wrote down five names each, combined them together in a list and crossed off the names they didn’t like. “I was having a conversation with my dad about global warming and he said when you’ve got mammoths melting out of the ice, you know you’ve got a bit of a problem,” Isherwood said of how she picked the band’s name. “We thought that it fit the apocalyptic feel of some of our music,” Jones added.
MMOOTI!?! seem to have a humbleness about them. They don’t like labels, in fact, they don’t even have a genre or class to put their music in. They find music in everyday objects around them, like pots and pans. And most of all, they find pleasure in the simple complexity of their music. “If we can make enough money playing music to eat, then that’s fine with me,” Smith said.
“If you can play a show and have at least one person say it was awesome, and [have them] wake up the next day … and their breakfast tastes good and they're thinking, ‘That show kicked ass,’ then that’s pretty cool.”
Mammoths Melting Out Of The Ice!?! will be playing at the Pub in the Union tonight. The show starts at 7 p.m. and is free to the public.
To pick up a CD, visit them at their show or on www.myspace.com/mammoths. Copies can also be picked up at Madhatter Music Co. or at Finders.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005
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5:44 pm - Could we take some genuine action?
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In most, if not all, states in America, there are laws against public nuisances and harassment, and rightly so. Some of these laws have been in effect for decades, if not centuries. Yet as far as the internet goes, there seems to be a noticeable lack of such laws, and I for one don't understand why. Upon booting up my computer, it is bombarded with processes such as "prositefinder" or "webrebates". These are there due to spyware, which is, believe it or not, the result of legitimate companies in an attempt to advertise. However, the behavior that these programs exhibit would cause me to believe that they were the result of malicious hackers rather than online companies. The fact that they appear without any decision on my part is an invasion of privacy. They eat up much of my system resources and bog down my overall processing speed, and that is harassment. In fact, it has even progressed to the point where my computer is so overrun that there has been permanent damage done, in the sense that I simply cannot remove a good number of them. The only solution would be to wipe my hard drive, which is going to take time, and money (to buy a new copy of XP) on my part. This is vandalism. However, since we're dealing with electronic data and packets of 0s and 1s, it cannot be thought of as actual physical vandalism, which I suppose is why this has been overlooked. It's a growing problem, for I remember as recent as 3 years ago it was a rare person who even knew what the words spyware or adware meant, and now nearly everyone I know has to run Spybot on a daily basis.
As I mentioned earlier, it would be one thing if this were the result of the actions of hackers or virus programmers or what have you. But the fact that these come from actual companies is apalling, and something needs to be done. I can guarantee that if these companies were fined for such actions, it would stop almost altogether.
Now, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's pissed about it. So if anyone knows who I need to complain to for something to actually be done about it, let me know.
current mood:  angry
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
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9:57 pm
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| Thursday, October 13th, 2005
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8:52 am - true
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 | | The Boy Next Door
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDm)
Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet.
We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what.
Your exact opposite:
The 5-Night Stand
Deliberate Brutal Sex Master
| On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold.
More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not.
ALWAYS AVOID: The Nymph
CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor, The Peach |
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: Omguy |
current mood: amused
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, October 5th, 2005
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2:49 am - Coming soon: The great reformat of 05
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Do you remember your computer classes back in elementary school. Back then, we were using these crappy black screen/green text things, or ocasionally, a mac. Shit would fuck up all the time, but the teacher would always provide the same patient response: "The computer will not do anything unless you tell it to. If there is a problem, it's because you made it". Now, I still to this day actually believe that was true. The keyword here, ladies and gentleman, is "was".
Because now this machine is certainly doing plenty of things I didn't tell it to do. Did I tell it to run about 4000 processes with names I've never seen before that simply eat up my system memory and create massive CPU use? nope. Do I want to open a web page advertising some sort of "internet accelerator"? nope. Do I want to be unable to open Spybot Search n Destroy unless I'm in safe mode? Fuck no.
Yet here it is, doing all of these things. Not to say I'm not partially to blame: I've had this thing for 5 years with, at best, minimal protection, and at worst, none at all. 'Course 5 years ago, even with no anti virus software to speak of, no pop up blockers, no spyware killers, none of this shit happened. MAYBE I'd see the occasional pop up, but not the 50-60 a day I've grown accustomed to now.
And looking at my registry? good god. I don't even know what used to be there since it's been changed to hell and back.
This thing is probably three quarters spyware as it is. So, the point of all of this:
you've been a bad, bad computer. I know, you can't help it, its beyond your control, its all of these voices you keep hearing that tell you to do things. So we're going to give you a frontal labotomy and start all over again. Sound good?
that or get a new one. this has probably turned obsolete 5 times over. I know for a fact that the RAM I'm using doesn't really exist anymore. You can find it, but it takes some hefty ebay searching.
SO, if anyone has any reformatting tips or suggestions, they'd be appreciated. I know, I'm going to back up everything worth keeping. Yes, I'm going to triple check to make sure I have everything. I need to go buy an actual copy of XP and stop running everything off of basically a Beta version. And, for the love of god, I'm getting the most hardcore protection program out there. I'm sick of dealing with this shit.
current mood:  frustrated
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, September 30th, 2005
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6:14 pm - We rocked toledo pretty damn hard last night
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"[Musical Instruments Played by Human Beings are] one of the newest and most pleasantly original sound to have hit toledo and bowling green in the last 2 years"-Dirty Damn Band
www.myspace.com/theorchardsofsaturnormmmbop
now on myspace!
current mood:  excited
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 20th, 2005
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5:58 pm - boredom
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| Tuesday, September 6th, 2005
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6:28 pm - ok, seriously
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Dear American Media,
I understand that bad things happen. I understand that they hurt a lot of people and sometimes people die. I understand that when cities get washed away there's things like looting and shooting cops. I understand that these are all bad things and that we should feel sympathetic to those affected, sure. What I do not understand is why all the propaganda? Why can't you just say "Tragically new orleans was pretty much wiped off the map by a hurricane. They need help" instead of "THIS IS THE WORST NATURAL DISASTER TO EVER HIT OUR COUNTRY EVER! PEOPLE WILL DIE BY THE THOUSANDS FROM DISEASE AND LACK OF FOOD IF YOU DON'T DONATE NOW! YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON AND YOU WILL GO TO HELL IF YOU DO NOT DONATE!".
Stop trying to make a 9/11 out of everything. Remember: Shit happens, shit has always happened and always will happen. If you want to help out, god bless you, people need help all over the place. But don't try to use your scare tactics on me. That shit doesn't work anymore.
Love,
Guy
current mood:  annoyed
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, August 15th, 2005
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1:10 am
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Life sure is strange. Full of wonderful things, sure, but also full of terrible, miserable things. All encompassing but meaningless. Interesting but boring. Strange but normal.
But right now it feels pretty fucking strange, just in the sense that everything thats been happening lately has already happened before, and it'd be one thing if its happened once before, long long ago, but some of these things just keep coming back around. How cyclical it all is strikes me as pretty damn eerie sometimes. I'm going to therapy, again. I'm taking medication, again. I'm not really going out all that much in favor of just hanging around and playing video games, again. I'm starting to get those random twitches, again. And once again, hell, even more so this time, because I've been through it all before, I don't really care. It's not near as bad as it was before, so I guess that's part of it. It's not like I'm having godawful panic attacks or anything. Just a general sense of apathy and an undercurrent of anxiety.
and I'm detatched from everything again. Like whatever just happened even yesterday was something that happened a long, long time ago, or hell, didnt happen at all. Either way it hardly makes a difference. It just doesn't seem like it matters. It's like everything is a transmission from some far off universe which I partly exist in, but I'm not all the way there.
but I'm not sad at all! Everyone seems to have this view where depression is some sort of intense melancholy that never ceases, but its not, at least not in the clinical sense. It's just this mind numbing neutrality to everything. It's like whatever happens, the response is "hey, whatever, it's fuckin fine". And the scary thing is that it works! you can get by that way. it keeps things level, and, ironically, sane in a weird sense. There aren't really any instances of being overtaken completely by emotion and driven into, for example, a blind rage. Of course, there's still enough left in there that part of me wants to feel more fully, feel bad if the situation calls for it, feel good when you're supposed to. The only thing I ever get these days is worried. Obsessively fucking worried. So its that, or neutral. Out of the deck of cards that is the entire range of human emotion, I'm playing with two. What the fuck.
and, though I'm taking the pills now, I still don't feel comfortable with the idea that I might just be making shit worse.
current mood:  fine
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, July 30th, 2005
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6:41 pm - The future is frightening
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I've returned from my 3 or 4 day stay at Jeff's house in Carleton (it's odd to be there again since he was kicked out/voluntarily left. It's been a while). We wrote and recorded a song about an article I read that said there were experiments taking place involving hypersonic sound that, when heard, feels as if it's coming from inside your head. They intend to use this for advertisements, and the example they gave was of walking by a coke machine and suddenly hearing, inside your skull, the sound of ice cubes dropped into a glass and someone pouring a coke into it. It's pretty much the same as having your brain hijacked by a machine.
So as far as the song goes I've had mixed feelings about it but it's really starting to grow on me. I think it's the best home recording we've made to date (the studio ones are still the best, but this one gets damn close). I got to cater to the electronic instrument lover in me by using the drum machine and doing some synth things with a vocoder. I love synthesizers, I need to buy myself one. Yet, on the other end of the spectrum, partnered with this electronic weirdness are some really echoey guitar parts that we got by just using the natural reverb of Jeff's dining room. It has a really high cealing so everything sounds glorious in there. Anyways if you'd like to hear it let me know, I still need to convert it to an mp3 so it's not a 52 megabyte file.
In other news, I'm going to start going back into therapy. I went to the psychiatrist last week and on my first day I left with a prescription. I'm a little wary of actually getting it filled and taking the stuff though. To me it just feels like prescribing mood altering drugs is the blanket cure-all for psychiatrists these days, and I don't know if I'm comfortable with that idea. I've taken them before and had positive results, but the cost was some particularly nasty phsyical side effects. Vomiting, heartburn, that kind of thing. What I need to know for sure is that these pills will help to make me feel good when I am supposed to feel good, but not drug me into a state of a constant mild pleasantness. If it's repairing what is genuinely a deficiency in serotonin, I'm all for it. But if it's just helping me "feel better", something about that rubs me the wrong way. Especially the increasing number of people taking these things. It seems like you can go into a psychiatrist's office when you're just having a bad day and he'll give you a bottle of mood-altering pills. Frankly, it's a little too reminiscent of "Brave New World" for my tastes.
current mood: contemplative
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, July 20th, 2005
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10:47 am - so
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aguyandhisdeck's journal
apathetic
nostalgic
